| Do This, Kids. |
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| 11:29pm 25/07/2004 |
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WHAT WOULD YOU DO iF:
» i died from natural causes:
» i said i liked you:
» i kissed you:
» i lived next door to you:
» i started smoking:
» i stole something:
» i was hospitalized:
» i ran away from home:
» i got into a fight and you weren't there:
WHAT DO YOU THiNK ABOUT MY:
» Personality:
» Eyes:
» Face:
» Hair:
» Clothes:
» Mannerisms:
» Family:
WOULD YOU:
» Be my friend?:
» Have sex with me?
» Lie to make me feel better?:
» Spread rumors about me?:
» Keep a secret if I told you one?:
» Loan me some cash?:
» Hold my hand?:
» Take a bullet for me?:
» Keep in touch?:
» Try and solve my problems?:
» Love me?:
» Date me?:
Whoa I like totally realized some of them seem really gay if you're of the same sex as me. That's kind of disturbing. Hey Bob, do it anyway. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| I stole this from my good friend Bob |
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| 10:38pm 21/07/2004 |
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Ok, I ripped this off of Bob's journal, who ripped this off of his friend Mallory's journal, who probably ripped it off from someone who ripped it off of someone who ripped it off of someone. In the long run, I think it's safe to say that Al Gore came up with this little thing, just like he came up with the internet.
first name: Lucas
middle name: Dylan (I hate it.)
last name: Anderson
gender: Male
age: 15
birthday: 3/26/1989
height: Around 6 feet. I know that's off, but I'm not gonna go measure myself and be specific.
hair color: Naturally brown. Now it's like... a mixture of red and bronze. It's crazy.
eye color: Sometimes they're blue, sometimes they're grey, sometimes they're green and sometimes they're yellow around the pupils. And no, I don't wear color changing contacts.
race: Irish and Native American. Call me white.
do you wear glasses or contacts: No.
do you have braces: No.
is your hair long or short: It's longer than I normally allow it to be, but I don't like like a hippie.
where were you born: THE EAST BAY.
current location: Stockton.
zodiac sign: Aries.
how many languages do you know: Uhhh... 1 and a half?
nationality: Isn't that the same thing as race?
bad habits: I get depressed easily, over analyze things, have low self esteem and blame myself for everything.
piercings you have: None.
piercings you want: Nose, lip, maybe ears.
tattoos you have: None.
tattoos you want: I'll probably be covered in 5 years. There's just so much to name.
***FAMILY***
mother's name: Susan.
father's name: Jeffrey.
step-parent's names: None.
brother(s)'s name(s): None.
sister(s)'s name(s): Molly, Maggie.
favorite aunt: I dunno.
favorite uncle: I dunno.
favorite grandparent: I dunno. (Yeah, I don't think I have favorite relatives. If I get presents, it's all good.)
worst relative: I dunno, we'll find out next Christmas.
best relative: Steven and Kyle are both pretty cool.
do you get along with your parents: I'd hope so.
does anyone in your family understand you?: I guess. For the most part I don't talk to my family about problems. It's awkward.
***PETS***
do you have any pets: Yes.
what are their names: Walter.
what kind of animals are they: Turtle.
***SCHOOL***
are you still in school: Yeah, but it's summer.
did you drop out: No.
favorite grade in the school: I dunno. 8th and 9th were cool.
least favorite grade in the school: Pre school. I dropped out because the kids were stupid.
favorite teacher: Mr. Silvera in 1st grade was awesome. Mr. Barker was in 7th and 8th too. And Mr. Salas last year.
least favorite teacher: I've never disliked teachers. We had one stupid sub that I got fired once, though. It was cool.
favorite subject: Guitar was cool last year. So were English and Geometry. It's cool when you're smart, because you don't really have to work.
least favorite subject: Chemistry sucked. I don't like science.
do you buy lunch or bring it: Buy.
play any sports on the school's team: No, I hate sports.
do/did you do any extracurricular activities: Jazz band.
favorite memory: Favorite school moments? I don't know.
least favorite memory: That three legged basketball thing was gay. But I'm too hardcore to have bad memories.
most humiliating moment: I guess the three legged basketball as well. And when I threw up in 8th grade.
***FAVORITES***
number: 47. There's no reasoning behind it.
clothing brand: Atticus.
shoes: My Converse All-Stars, I'd suppose.
saying(s): I'm sure if you know me, you know my sayings. If I have any. I don't know.
vegetable: Potatos.
fruit: Strawberries.
movie: Kung Pow. Anchorman was awesome, though. Go see it.
magazine: Blender or AP.
actor: Johnny Depp or Christopher Walken.
actress: Hmm... I dunno. Keira Knightley?
candy: Kit-Kat.
gum: Trident.
scent: Axe: Essence
candy bar: Wasn't I asked this?
ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough.
color: Pink or grey.
season: Winter.
holiday: Christmas, presents rock.
bands: Rancid, Blink, Dropkick Murphys. It's all good.
group: Like homosexual guys who don't play instruments? I think not.
rapper: Skinhead Rob.
place to be: My room, probably.
radio station: KWOD.
cheese: Mozzarella.
junk food: Uhhh, Chex Mix?
overall food: Burritos. If you know me, this didn't need to be asked.
store: Guitar Center.
shoe brand: Converse.
fast food: Taco Bell, Del Taco, Chipotle or In N Out.
restaurant: Denny's.
shape: Rhombus.
time of day: Night.
state: California.
mall: Tracy's is ok.
shampoo: Herbal Essences. It gives me that smooth feeling.
board games: Life.
Word: Probably dude.
Month: December.
cartoon character: Doug.
scary movie: One that doesn't suck. *Crosses practically every scary movie off the list.*
***THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND***
eminem: Sucks.
dog: Hot.
hot: Sun.
britney spears: Hot.
nsync: Gay.
real world: Fake.
orange: Mango.
food: Burritos.
fuck: You. Or me. Depends who's reading.
bisexual: ....I might be. ;)
black: Night.
icq: Lame.
insane clown posse: Rappers with face paint.
loser: Nick.
jack: And Sally.
rainbow: Lucky Charms.
cherry: Poptarts.
cucumber: Vegetables suck, man.
shark: Bait.
lifehouse: That one band.
bats: Fear and Loathing.
leather: Chris Jericho.
whip: Torture.... fun torture.
america: Lame.
water: H20.
volcano: Hawaii.
***THIS OR THAT***
rock or rap: Rock.
rock or pop: Rock.
rock or r&b: Rock.
rock or metal: Metal.
rap or pop: Pop.
rap or r&b: Suicide.
rap or metal: Metal.
pop or r&b: Pop.
pop or metal: Metal.
r&b or metal: Metal.
tool or korn: Tool.
selena or jennifer lopez: Probably Selena. We don't have to put up with her like we do J-Lo.
hot or cold: Cold.
winter or summer: Winter.
spring or fall: Fall.
shakira or britney: ...Can I have both?
icp or eminem: Suicide, again, is the only option.
mtv or vh1: VH1.
buffy or angel: Angel.
dawson's creek or gilmore girls: Dawson's Creek... not that I ever watched it.
football or basketball: Football.
summer olympics or winter olympics: Summer olympics.
black or white: Black.
orange or red: Orange.
yellow or green: Yellow.
purple or pink: Pink.
inside or outside: Inside.
weed or alcohol: Caffiene... my anti drug.
cell phone or pager: Cell phone.
pen or pencil: Whatever I can borrow.
powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: Powerpuff Girls.
scooby doo or dino: Scooby Doo.
dragon ball z or pokemon: Pokemon.
star wars or star trek: Star Wars.
tattoos or piercings: Tattoos.
slut or whore: Whore. It sounds funnier.
***PRIVATE LIFE***
do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: No.
do you have a crush: Yes.
do you love anyone right now: Yeah, but I'm not exactly sure what way we're talking about here...
have you ever been in love: I dunno. Sometimes it seemed like it, sometimes not.
The story behind your user name: One day Nick and I got bored making a Created Wrestler on Smackdown. We named him Toasty. Just watching The Italian Job, I remembered Handsome Rob and slapped Rob on the end.
Jewelry worn daily: Some bracelets, two wristbands.
how many hearts have you broken: I'd hope none.
do you think they forgive you: Well if I did, I guess.
how many people broke your heart: Uhh, like 3? It really seems like more.
do you forgive them: Yeah, why not?
best quote to sum up love: I love lamp.
do you have a picture of him/her: Wait, who? Now I'm just confused!
do you have a picture of yourself: Yeah. I'm an egomaniac with low self esteem. It's insane.
do you go by looks or personality: You have to have both. Purely sexual relationships aren't relationships, but they're not really relationships if you're not attracted to eachother, either.
ever kiss a friend: Yes.
are you still friends: Uh, some of them.
do you smoke: No.
do you smoke weed: No.
are you a virgin: Yeah.
***WOULD YOU EVER***
bungee jump: Sure.
skydive: Sure.
swim with dolphins: Yeah, and then I'd go eat some tuna.
scuba dive: Yeah.
go rock climbing: No, that takes too much effort.
turn your back on your friends for personal gain: No. Unless it was like really minor, and didn't matter to them.
steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: I never stole. Kissed, but never stole.
cross-dress: Not in public.
lie to the police: I don't talk to them enough, but yeah.
run from the police: Sure. Why sit around and be arrested when you can get away?
lie to your parents: What kid doesn't?
walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Yeah, homeless people are into that stuff. It's also how me and Nick met.
be an exotic dancer: White people can't dance.
walk out of a restaurant without paying: If I didn't have money.
streak: Sure, why not?
***YOUR FRIENDS***
known longest: BJ.
wish you talked to more: Leigh.
wish you saw more: Leigh.
how many friends do you think you have: Like 25.
who drives you insane after a while: Nobody really.
who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: Like everybody. Seriously, give us something to do or talk about, and it can get real interesting.
ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': No, and I really hope it never, ever happens.
craziest: Armando.
loudest: Aren't most of us loud?
shyest: Jason.
best hair: Uh, I dunno. It's hair.
can always make you laugh: Nick and Armando.
best eyes: Melissa. Most everybody else has brown eyes. Steven's aren't bad, but if it's a guy, it just sounds gay.
most athletic: Armando, probably.
sex symbol: Kevin. His Bruce Lee looks could make any girl faint.
sweetest: I don't call friends sweet. That's gay.
most impatient: Um, Nick?
shortest: Kiera, because she's shorter than Joey and Joey has been the shortest one for like 30 years.
tallest: I dunno, we'd need to line up.
talented: Not sure. We'd be a whole lot cooler if we were talented.
best singer: Veronica.
skinniest: I can get all but like two of my friend's up on my shoulders, so none are exactly large.
nicest: Probably Jason. It's hard to be a jackass when you don't talk much.
best personality: I dunno. They all have good ones.
***HAVE YOU EVER***
flashed someone: No.
told the person you liked how you felt: ...I'm confused.
Been to michigan?: ....K, well obviously a person in Michigan made this. No.
gotten really REALLY wasted: No.
gone to jail or juvi: No.
skateboarded: Yeah, inside too.
skinny dipped: No.
stolen anything: Yeah. Nothing big, or from a store.
wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: I dunno who you are, but it kept me unbored.
kicked someone's ass: Yeah. It's cool.
pegged someone in the head with a snowball: Yeah, that's cool too.
kissed someone of the same sex: No, Mark Hoppus turned me down.
been to a concert: Like a bajillion.
been to another country: No.
talked back to an adult: Yeah.
broke a law: I'm sure I've broken countless laws.
given money to a homeless person: I gave one dude like 25 cents, and I've hated myself for giving away money ever since.
tried to kill yourself: No, that's lame.
cried to get out of trouble: No, it doesn't work for my sister, so I'd just look stupid doing it.
kissed a friend's brother or sister: No.
kissed a brother or sister's friend: No.
dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: Probably. I've eaten stuff off the floor, too.
***OPINIONS***
what do you think...about pop music: Michael Jackson was cool. Really, I can tolerate certain stuff. For the most part, it's gonna suck, though.
about boy bands: I'd hate them all I want, but if they didn't become famous, another one would.
about flag burning: Hey, if you wanna buy the flag, why not?
of the war on terrorism: Terrorism is forcing someone to do something out of fear. The US does it all the time. We can't fight terrorism when we have a terrorist in the White House.
about people who try to force their opinions on you: I show them that they're wrong.
about rock music: Music would suck right now without good old fashioned Rock N Roll.
where do you think you'll be in 10 years: I dunno where, but hopefully married to someone I really care about, somehow with a career in the music business.
who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Really, if I'm not friends with anyone I'm friends with now in 5 years, some stuff is gonna suck.
***WHAT DID YOU DO***
last birthday: Went to Funworks.
last weekend: Can't remember. It must have sucked.
last christmas: Got a bass.
last thanksgiving: Had turkey.
last new year's eve: Had a party.
last halloween: Had another party.
last easter: Went easter egg hunting.
valentine's day: Wanted someone that cared about me back.
***THE LAST***
thing you ate: A chocolate cookie thingie.
thing you drank: Mountain Dew
thing you wore: Uh, I'm still wearing clothes. A black t-shirt, khaki shorts.
place you went: Taco Bell.
thing you got pierced: Nothing.
person you saw: I think Molly.
person you kissed: Stephanie.
person you fucked: Nobody.
person you talked to: Melissa. We're talking as we speak. Well, typing.
full song you heard: The Used - Blue and Yellow |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| Give into Peer Pressure and Do This |
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| 10:07pm 26/03/2004 |
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01. where/how did we meet?
02. did you like me right away?
03. take a stab at my middle name.
04. where do i live?
05. how long have you known me?
06. my age.
07. what's my birth date?
08. have you ever had a crush on me?
09. do you remember the first things i said to you?
10. what is the best feature about me?
11. what is the worst feature about me?
12. am i shy or outgoing?
13. would you say i'm funny?
14. how often do you think of me?
15. if there were one good nickname for me, what would it be?
16. have you ever told me that you love me?
17. are we good friends?
18. do you wish we were closer?
19. what would you change about me?
20. do you think you'll know me in five years? |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| Yay. |
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| 11:16pm 25/03/2004 |
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So my birthday is in about 45 minutes and my party tonight was awesome. I love my friends, only in a completely nonsexual way. I'm incredibly tired, though. So here's a quick rundown of what went down today:
At about 3:30 Nick, BJ, John, Mike, Dominick, Steven and I headed out to Modesto to go to Funworks. We got there just a bit before 5, because there was traffic and stuff. We got there, and got out deal situated and then went to play some golf. It was raining, but who cares? I can't really say we had much of a game, because we all cheated for the most part. Good times.
Then we got some pizza, at the all you can eat pizza buffet! It was pretty crazy, cuz they had like a chili pizza, where the pizza sauce was chili and the sausage was the kind that you may find in certain types of chili. It was pretty intense.
Then we went on the Bumper Boats. Let me tell you, that was INSANE. Steven and I took this one that had a cross thingie on it because we were going to be Pirates and kill everyone. It turns out, that the ship's squirt guns didn't move. So we got incredibly soaked. The day was already cold and wet, so we were freezing. It was ok, though, because everyone else was soaked too. We did this at like 5:30 too, and we were wet when we got back home at 10.
After the Bumper Boats, we tried to dry ourselves off ghetto style. We headed to the bathroom and pointed the air dryer at our close to try and dry them out. Didn't work too well.
Then we headed to the Build a Bear area, where you take plush animals, stuff them, and then customize them to your liking. Mike stuffed a Bunny for Yazmin and had it play "Happy Birthday" when you squeezed it's hand because her birthday is on Saturday. The whole time we all sat around acting like the fathers of the bunny (similar to Three Guys and a Baby, or whatever that crazy movie was) and tried to name it. Eventually it was named Mr. Ray, but I think Mark would have been cooler. The chick that worked their was cool, too. She gave us a discount and we talked to her a bit. It was pretty funny though, because some of us made like every effort to flirt with her/hit on her and she was like 4 years older than us or whatever. I made sure to say bye to her on my way out of FunWorks though, cuz that's how I roll.
To finish things off, we went on the Bumper Cars. These weren't just any ordinary Bumper Cars, either. Oh no, my friends. These were special sensor Bumper Cars. If you hit someone in the right spot, you'd get points for it. The first time we went, I got in second place, and my team one. Second time, I was in dead last (my car stopped moving :() and my team lost. Third time was the best, though. I got in first place and had more points than the other team combined. And they had more people than us. So it was cool.
Then we headed out. During the whole night, we would stay around the Jukebox area, listening to old 50's-70's tunes or kids songs. We played The Hokey Pokey, and danced along and then listened to We Are the Champions. We definitely got into that one. For our exit though, we put on "Kiss Him Goodbye" the song that goes "Nananana nananana, hey hey hey, goodbye." I know you all knew it. Then we walked out in slow motion as it faded in the backround, and once we were all outside we jumped up and clicked our heels together. It was sweet.
Finally on the drive home, we'd listen to a lot of random songs. I had control of the radio, so I picked a lot of random stuff. The best moments though, were "Landslide" (I think... it's the Fleetwood Mac cover) by the Dixie Chicks, because even though it's a country song that isn't even that great... WE ALL KNEW THE WORDS and that old song by Chumbawumba that goes "I GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT I GET UP AGAIN! YOU'RE NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN." We knew that one too. All in all, it was a cool night. I'm staying up til 12, too. Expect a new entry pretty soon. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| What a Crappy Day |
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| 10:35pm 18/03/2004 |
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mood: Like practically everything. music: Blink 182 - I Miss You (James Guthrie Mix)
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Yeah today sucked. Actually, no, no it didn't. Today was actually one of the better school days I've had. It definitely beats last week, where I was depressed and stuff all the time. Today I was like "YEAH, I'M COOL." So where do I start?
First period today, we did our "Academy Awards" for the movies/plays we did in English Honors. I won best Director (Since I wrote/directed the whole play of mine.) and best actor (because seriously, who is going to beat out a Sea Captain?). I think we were robbed of best screenplay, because of the movies, it was easily the best written. But I don't mind. The other people, I believe, put more effort into it as a group. I did all the work for the play, and I was rewarded with being the only person to win stuff. And they weren't crappy awards either, so I'm good.
Also today, I had black nail polish on. I dunno why, I just felt like it. I got a lot of comments on that. Most were actually good, too. A lot of chicks were like "wow, you did that all by yourself?" and stuff. A few said it was hot. Go figure. Then I think I was asked on a few dates to "do make up" because I told them I knew how to do eyeliner too. I'm not exactly sure if that's good or not. But whatever. I know I'm a pimp, I won't go into too much detail.
After school, I'll admit I was a bit nervous. Today was our Band concert, and I was playing with the symphonic band and Jazz Band. I slept for a few hours before, and then headed over. When I got there, I made sure everything was hooked up. I mingled a bit, and wished everyone luck. I was happy, though. I had friends who came to support me. That made me feel good. Before we started playing, I noticed these two chicks checking me out. It was awesome. I was standing there, tuning the bass, and they were all looking at me and stuff. After the show, they came and talked to me and called me "the cool guy." It was pretty awesome.
So, I was nervous during the first two songs. Not bad, but I messed up a few times. But then I loosened up. People said my bass solo went well, and they could hear me pretty good. So I was happy for that. Then on our last song, the Peter Gunn theme, I just went with it. It's more of a fast song, so I was able to kind of dance around and everything. At the end I jumped up, and all of the cool kids got a kick out of that. That was cool.
Then I played with the band at the end. I was playing the upright bass, which I can play, except with a bow. I can't play it with a bow. So I didn't do too much. But when my name was mentioned for being one of the kids to play that wasn't actually in the band, I got a pretty good amount of clapping. I'd say bigger than everybody else. But like 8 kids were there just to see me, and then I somehow got some more fans along the way. Again, very cool.
Then I had to take everything back, and a lot of the band kids ditched and didn't carry stuff back. So I was still at school until like 9:30. It didn't really bother me, though. Sure, my feet hurt, I'm a bit dehydrated, I'm sick, and I'm tired... but it was a good day. I could handle cleaning up.
I dunno what I'm doing tomorrow. I have two tests, and a 40 point assignment due tomorrow in first period and the beginning of class. Will I do it? Not tonight. I'll wake up early, attempt a really lame version of the assignment, and end up with a significant amount of points anyway. Then I'm going to the mall after school with Stephanie, Mike, and Yazmin. We're doing birthday shopping, since my birthday is coming up next Friday and Yazmin's is the day after. I'm not sure if we'll go, though. Mike and Yazmin were fighting earlier tonight about something. I'm not sure what about, but it seemed kind of big. It's probably somehow my fault, but I was there to offer Mike some advice if he needed it (he didn't wanna talk) and I suppose we're talking about it tomorrow. Hopefully it'll all work out. Anyway, I think I'm done. Peace! |
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Post |
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| I'm Rad |
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| 12:22am 15/03/2004 |
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Singer, Songwriter, Guitarist, Bassist, Sex Machine, God, Comedian. When you think of those words, you may think of me. And of course, you may not. Now, I have one more important role to add to my list. Play writer. Here is my newest play.
So This Guy Walks into a Bar...
(The scene starts off with the Gullible Bouncer at the front of the Bar. Enter Salty Sea Captain.)
Gullible Bouncer: Hold it right there. I’m gonna need to see some ID.
Sea Captain: Argh, I’m a bloody pirate. Do you really expect me to give you any ID?
Gullible Bouncer: Well, uh… I guess not. I mean, I was hoping you maybe might give me some, but if you don’t want to then I guess you don’t have to or anything.
Sea Captain: That’s what I thought, mate. Good day.
(The Sea Captain walks over to the bar, where the Bartender is sitting. The Sea Captain looks over towards another table, where two men are sitting. They’re both moving their heads around rather weird.)
Sea Captain: Excuse me, Bartender, but what’s exactly the matter with those two scoundrels?
Bartender: That one right there is a schizophrenic, while the other is blind. You ever see how Stevie Wonder moves his head while playing piano?
Sea Captain: Yes, yes I have. (Motioning over towards the two.) Would you guys like a drink? My treat.
Schizophrenic: ARMAGEDDON IS NEAR! OH JESUS! I mean… I’d love one. GET OUT OF MY HEAD. OH GOD!!!
Blind Person: Sure. Come on, Buddy. Let’s go to the bar. Buddy? Sorry guys, my dog’s always falling asleep. I’ll try and come over later.
Sea Captain: (Looking cautiously.) Do they not realize the dog’s dead?
Bartender: Of course not. We’d say, but we just don’t have the heart. Well, I actually don’t think the bouncer realizes the dog’s dead. Say, how were you planning to pay for drinks for two people? That’s mighty generous.
Sea Captain: Argh, let me tell ya. About 12 years ago, I was sailing the mighty seas of Ohio when I finally found the big treasure. It was the ancient gold of Captain Orangebeard. Worth millions. Unfortunately, my crew died in the process, leaving the money all to me. So if you look at it, it’s not too unfortunate. Savvy?
Bartender: Right…
(Back towards the front of the bar, the Gullible Bouncer is letting more people in, but he’s making sure that they don’t get past him without being the correct age. A magician walks towards the Bouncer, followed by a Vietnam War Veteran.)
Gullible Bouncer: Sir, may I see some ID?
Magician: Sure, but first, may I show you a magic trick?
Bartender: Yeah, I guess. I’ve always loved magic.
Gullible Bouncer: Please close your eyes and count to twenty.
(The Gullible Bouncer closes his eyes as the Magician walks by and into the bar and sits next to the Sea Captain. After 20 seconds, he opens his eyes.)
Gullible Bouncer: OH MY GOD, HE’S GONE. HE DISAPPEARED!
Vietnam Veteran: SOLDIER! Did you see what you did? You let that commie get away, son. I will NOT permit that. Is that clear?
Gullible Bouncer: Sir, yes sir. I’ll have to see some ID, though.
Vietnam Veteran: I DID NOT GO TO WAR AND SAVE YOUR FREEDOM TO BE CHECKED FOR MY ID. I AM A VIETNAM VETERAN.
Gullible Bouncer: Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again. Go right ahead.
(The Vietnam Veteran walks into the bar. He also goes and sits near the bar.)
Sea Captain: Argh, looks like we got a few more scoundrels over here. How about I buy you fellows a drink?
Vietnam Veteran: DO YOU WANT TO BUY ME A DRINK?! DO YOU WANT TO BUY ME A DRINK?! Because, I do. I’d like a Jack Daniels.
Bartender: We don’t carry Jack Daniels.
Vietnam Veteran: WHAT?! This is America! I expect to get what I want, when I ask for it. I did not fight those commies to get this!
Bartender: Actually, we’re in France.
Vietnam Veteran: Why would I be in France? I am NO traitor. I, soldier, am a Patriot! And if you want to rot in hell like the rest of those commies, you can call this France.
Sea Captain: Settle down, mate. Perhaps she can find you a Jack Daniels in the back. What about you? Do you want a drink?
Magician: Yes, but I can get it on my own. I am a magician, after all. Everybody, close your eyes.
(Everyone closes their eyes as the Magician steals his own beer.)
Magician: Ok, you may open them. See? Here’s my beer.
Bartender: You’re gonna have to pay for that.
Magician: That is preposterous! I am a magician!
Sea Captain: Argh, she’s got a point, mate. I’ll buy yer beer.
Magician: So, how does a Sea Captain like you go about buying people drinks?
Vietnam Veteran: He’s obviously one of them homosexuals. He likes you.
Sea Captain: No, I just have a lot of money. I was off sailing the seas of Ohio, when me and my crew found this underwater cave. We swam down, and found Orangebeard’s buried treasure. We hauled it back to the boat, but as we did, a giant sea serpent came up and swallowed my whole crew. I was the only survivor. Luckily, I got the treasure.
Vietnam Veteran: I still think you’re one of them homosexuals.
Blind person: Buddy, come on. We need to get our drink. Come on, Buddy. COME ON, YOU STUPID SEEING EYE DOG!
Schizophrenic: (To Sea Captain) Hey, I’d like to thank you for buying me this…. OH JESUS, DON’T!! THE END IS NEAR!!
Vietnam Veteran: SOLDIER! You stick close to me, and we can beat these commies. We’ll stay alive. You’ve got Uncle Sam on your side, and no one will beat him and his good old American freedom.
Sea Captain: Argh, I’m beginning to think I’m the sanest person in this bar, and years of heat stroke and sea sailing does your mind no good.
(Back over at the front, the Gullible Bouncer is letting more people in. Among the people trying to get in are a dumb blonde, Siamese twins, and a man who is clearly depressed.)
Gullible Bouncer: I’m gonna need to see some ID.
Dumb Blonde: Um, what?
Gullible Bouncer: I need to see some ID.
Dumb Blonde: Um, like, I don’t have an ID?
Gullible Bouncer: Well, I’m afraid I can’t let you in.
Dumb Blonde: Please? Like, just this once?
Gullible Bouncer: Well, you’re kind of pretty. I guess you can go ahead.
(The Dumb Blonde makes her way in, and sits near the others at the bar. The Siamese twins now come up to the Bouncer.)
Gullible Bouncer: Whoa, you’re like… connected.
Siamese Twin #1: Yes, we’re Siamese Twins.
Gullible Bouncer: But you’re different nationalities.
Siamese Twin #2: I’m from Botswana.
Siamese Twin #1: I’m from Spain.
Siamese Twin #2: We grew up on different sides of the border.
Gullible Bouncer: Wow, that’s messed up. Can I see some ID?
Siamese Twin #1: We don’t have any. But we’re both 16.
Siamese Twin #2: And if you add those two up, it’s over the legal limit.
Gullible Bouncer: Wow, so you’re like 166. Or something. I’m confused. Go ahead and go on in. You gave me a headache.
(The Siamese Twins both head into the bar and sit down. The depressed person walks on up.)
Gullible Bouncer: Hey, can I see some ID?
Manic Depressive: I don’t have ID. I don’t have a reason to live.
Gullible Bouncer: Now don’t say that. Think of the pretty flowers and squirrels.
Manic Depressive: Why? Life is agony. I need a drink.
Gullible Bouncer: Listen, I’m pretty good at my job, and nobody underage or without ID gets past me. I’ll let you go, though. Just keep your head up. It’ll all work out.
(The Manic Depressive also walks into the bar. He joins the rest of the group near the front of the room.)
Sea Captain: Ahh, newcomers! Ahoy! Come on in, let me buy you a drink. What would you like?
Dumb Blonde: Um, like, I dunno. Where am I again?
Sea Captain: Argh, I do believe you be in a bar.
Dumb Blonde: Um, ok. My mom like, told me not to speak to strangers.
Sea Captain: Argh, alrighty then. What about you two? Er.. three.
Siamese Twin #1: Sure.
Siamese Twin #2: We’d love drinks.
Sea Captain: Is this some kind of creepy twin thing where you guys finish each others’ sentences?
Siamese Twin #1: No.
Siamese Twin #2: I don’t think so.
Sea Captain: Argh, I suppose that’ll be enough then.
Manic Depressive: Woe is me. I want to die. I am a tortured artist, locked in a cruel body in a cruel world.
Sea Captain: Mate, you either need a girl or a drink. Perhaps a bit of both.
Vietnam Veteran: (To Depressive) Careful, he’s one of them homosexuals.
Bartender: No, I don’t think he’s gay.
Magician: My magician powers have sensed that he isn’t.
Vietnam Veteran: I DID NOT FIGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOMS TO BE CALLED A LIAR. YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF COMMIES!
Schizophrenic: AHHH SAVE ME!! BLOOD, BLOOD EVERYWHERE! Hey, where’s my drink?
Blind Person: Buddy?! BUDDY?! Get up, you stupid dog! It’s time to leave.
Sea Captain: Everyone, calm down. We can settle our problems over a nice pint.
Manic Depressive: I want to die.
Sea Captain: Well, maybe not you. But who else is with me?
Blind Person: I suppose I am. Buddy isn’t gonna move any time soon. He must be asleep again. Hey, why did you want to buy us all drinks again?
Sea Captain: Argh, let me tell ya once more. But this shall be the last time. This story brings a lot of painful memories. About 12 years ago, me and my crew were sailing the seas of Ohio. My one and only son, John, had been with me. It was his first time out on the sea. He was but a wee little lad, about 5 years old, but his heart was in it all. When we arrived in this cave, holding Orangebeard’s treasure, I realized that my son would be able to carry on what I did, and I could retire a rich man. Unfortunately, when me and my crew came aboard my ship, and had the treasure, things took a turn for the worse. There was a mutiny over the gold, and a fight broke loose. 3 men died just in those few seconds of quarrel, and then afterwards, a giant serpent came up from the water. He wrecked my boat, and swallowed my crew whole. I was the only survivor. In a rage that the serpent would kill my only son, I grabbed my sword and my gun, and I killed it. Then I took off with me treasure, and have wandered the world since. I am no more a pirate, or a sea captain, but a man who had to witness his son’s cruel death.
Magician: I am, sorry. I am obviously telepathic, and knew this, but I feel worse hearing it in your own words. My condolences.
Vietnam Veteran: That serpent was obviously a commie. The best fighters are. They take a lot of good men. But we must fight on.
Blind Person: I’m sorry, and I’m sure Buddy is too. Buddy? BUDDY!!
Schizophrenic: Dude, that sucks! AHHH ARMAGEDDON, OH MY GOD!
Dumb Blonde: So, um, like… what happened?
Sea Captain: Argh, I don’t want to say it again.
Gullible Bouncer: Wow, that was beautiful.
Bartender: Why are you in here? Go do your job?
Gullible Bouncer: Well, since I’m obvious the best Bouncer in the world, I caught someone trying to sneak in. Here he is.
(The Bouncer throws an Orphan forward. The Sea Captain looks at him as if he’s familiar.)
Gullible Bouncer: Yep, he couldn’t get past me.
Sea Captain: You, son. What’s your name?
Orphan: It’s John, sir.
Sea Captain: And your age?
Orphan: 17, as of a few weeks ago. I’ll be an adult next year.
Sea Captain: And you heard my story?
Orphan: Yes, father. Is it really you?
Sea Captain: Yes! Oh my boy, it’s you! It’s really you! ARGH! Drinks all around!
(Everyone gets a drink, and everyone’s happy… because hey, that’s show business for you.)
Gullible Bouncer: Wow, what a happy ending.
Bartender: You do realize you’re fired, right?
Gullible Bouncer: Wow, what a crappy ending.
Schizophrenic: AHHH!! THE END IS HERE! IT’S HERE!!!
(And with that, the story ends. Happy ending? Yes. Unless you’re the Bouncer. But it works.) |
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| 20 SONGS AHHHHHH!! |
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| 08:48pm 13/03/2004 |
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So Ashlee's journal inspired me to list the first 20 songs that showed up on my Winamp on random. So here we go. If you'd like to do this as well, then list your songs on your LJ. Or don't. You will if you love me, though.
1. Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down
2. AFI - Smile
3. Blink 182 - The Fallen Interlude
4. Blink 182 - Roller Coaster
5. Blink 182 - Carousel
6. Song of the Blacksmith (Second Suite)
7. Blink 182 - Go
8. The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
9. Motorhead - Evolution
10. Teh Band (Me and three of my amigos) - The Farmer Song
11. Rancid - Roots Radicals
12. Caprice (Song that my school band will perform at our Spring Concert)
13. AFI - Third Season
14. Blink 182 - Carousel
15. Rancid - Journey to the End of the East Bay
16. Fantasia on the "Dargason" (Second Suite)
17. Blink 182 - M&M's
18. Second Suite March
19. Metallica - Enter Sandman
20. Brand New - The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows
Hm... I expected a better list. Too much Blink for my liking. I can understand it, though. I have Blink's entire alum collection on my hard drive. I was expecting more Rancid, though. I have every CD of theirs ripped to my hard drive, as well. And then there was like one emo song. That's not cool. |
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| Bass is Cool |
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| 08:31pm 13/03/2004 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg and Natedog - The Next Episode
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Hm, my feeling is cotemplative. I'm not exactly sure why I chose that, as I'm not really thinking at all at the moment. But it makes me sound smart. Today I saw The Secret Window. It was an ok movie, but I've seen better. Johnny Depp was cool, but with him being the main character the movie was a bit predictable. I won't go into too much detail, though. I don't wanna ruin it for those that either haven't seen it or haven't read the book. I prefered Hidalgo, though. I saw that last Saturday. I was with more friends, but it was a better movie. Plus, I made a lot of wise-cracks during the movie. There are more reasons too, but I don't need to get into that.
Today I was thinking. Well, actually like a few minutes ago I was thinking. I guess that's where the whole contemplativeness of this all works in. Anyway, back to my thinking. Until I first picked up a bass, I never really knew much about it. I never noticed the fact that bass is one of the most important instruments there is. Moreso than guitar, in my opinion. I play guitar more and all, but bass really plays more of a significant role to music. In Jazz songs, you'll always be able to dig the rhythm of the bass. The songs would just miss so much without the bass. It's like that for a lot of bands, too. I don't think I'd listen to much Rancid without Matt Freeman playing bass. He's the reason why most Rancid songs are as good as they are. There aren't many punk bassist, or just bassists in general, who can add so much rhythm to a song.
It's always good to appreciate that kind of stuff. But sometimes you can't. A lot of bands these days just have their bassists do the same things the guitarists do. That adds a bit more thickness to the sound, but it's nothing original. I think that's where bass gets ruined. People don't put it to the greatest use. When bass is doing something different then most everybody else, then it really defines the song for what it is. When bass is just going along with the rest... then it's really nothing, in my opinion. I guess that's all. Goodbye, kids. |
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| Just a Random Thought |
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| 10:14pm 20/02/2004 |
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I was watching Romeo and Juliet, the modern day version, and it got me thinking. They had guns that had "longsword" and "dagger" engraved on them. That's pretty cool. I've decided I want a gun that has "Stilletto" engraved on the side. That would be awesome. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| The OC = Awesome. |
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| 10:13pm 11/02/2004 |
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mood:  content music: Rancid - Not To Regret
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So today after watching a somewhat disappointing episode of Smallville, I saw a really awesome episode of the OC. I'll say this right now, I think I have a new favorite show. I've only been watching the OC for a few weeks, but it's just awesome. During the whole episode Nick, Bob and I were discussing what was going on like excited 10 year old girls at a Justin Timberlake concert. I don't know if this is bad or good, but I'm not even ashamed at that fact. It was just overall really cool. Tomorrow Nick and I are going to start an OC club. Or maybe a Seth club. One of the two. But now I leave, as I have nothing more to say. PEACE! |
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| Stopping Time |
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| 02:24pm 11/02/2004 |
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music: Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come on Eileen
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For the past week or so, I've thought on and off about the theory of being able to stop time. My friends and I discussed how it would be cool if there was a way to stop time. We could pretty much do whatever without being caught. But thinking about it more, would anything like that be remotely possible?
I have two theories for stopping time. You could either completely stop it, so you are the only thing moving, or speed yourself up. Though they're both pretty illogical, I think speeding yourself up would work way better. Think about it. If everything else stopped, nothing would move no matter how hard you tried to make it. So what would you accomplish? You could walk around. That may be fun for a while, but you couldn't steal anything. So that's not exactly fun.
But if you could somehow speed up time for yourself, and keep everyone at the same speed as normal, I believe you'd be capable of whatever you wanted. If you time for you went incredibly fast, it would pretty much seem as if time had stopped. You would literally be travelling the speed of light. Though that probably wouldn't ever happen, it would work. Think about it.
If you walk in to someone, chances are they won't fall down unless that have very bad balance. Now, if you run into someone with all of your speed, chances are they'll be knocked down. If you're going faster, you will be able to move things by your force of speed. You'll be able to pick up objects because your force will be stronger than that of the speed of time. Or so I think. Therefor, you'll be able to move everything around as if everything was just very still.
This is probably just a lot of rambling though. What can I say? I was bored. Anyway, think about it, or call me stupid. It's all good. |
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| Today Sucks |
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| 09:08pm 10/02/2004 |
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mood:  sick music: Johnny Cash and Joe Strummer - Redemption Song
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Well, today doesn't exactly suck. If this was any other day, it would have been pretty good. Unfortunately, though, I'm sick. I have mucus in my throat and whatnot. It's pretty gross. I won't go into too much detail, but I threw up 6 times yesterday, and today I pretty much zoned out. I took a nap after school, from about 3:30 to 5:30, but I couldn't really get to sleep. I'm already tired right now, but I'm not sure if I wanna go to sleep yet. Chances are it'll make me wake up early and then I'll be tired at school or something. But I'll give it a try. Tomorrow I'll be back with an update on my health. Hopefully I'll be all better. Will I be all better, though? Probably not. |
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| Yet Another Day |
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| 06:42pm 08/02/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: The Clash - Lost in the Supermarket
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So, it's my second (or maybe third?) day on Live Journal. To tell you the truth, I have no idea exactly what I'm gonna write down, as I'm not one to write down my feelings. But I will tell you this: I am BORED. Like seriously bored out of my mind. I've been on AIM for 6 hours and 40 minutes, and I'm pretty sure I won't be getting off any time soon. I could probably use this time to update my Live Journal look wise, but I have no idea how. So I'm gonna have Leigh help me out once she gets online. Leigh, if you're reading this, you have to do it. You told me you would. Yeah.... Well we have no school tomorrow, so that's cool. I think I'll spend my time wisely by sleeping in til noon and then eating junk food and going online. How cool is that? This is getting boring as well, though. I'm going to rip off my friend Bob here and leave you all with my motivational lyric of the day.
"Nanana nanana" - Mark Hoppus in that one Simple Plan song. Yes, it's lovely indeed. |
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toasty_rob's journal